They Are Watching

They Are Watching 

A few weeks ago, my youngest daughter and I had an amazing opportunity for the first time to see the Ballet Austin, The Nutcracker! The show was remarkable, and the experience was exciting, but the preparation for the show was by far the most thrilling of all. I have attended my share of events, but not The Nutcracker performed live in downtown Austin.

Anyway, you get the point. The hype to get there was way more significant than the event itself. We had to plan to be on time, say no to all other events, go shopping for what we would wear, and figure out how to wear our hair—an actual event, if I do say so myself.

Now rewind a few weeks when I finally told my daughter the news about tickets to the Nutcracker. I told her how excellent the location was, how good the seats were, and how fancy we should expect other guests to be dressed. When we started preparing our outfits, she decided she wanted a suit. Gianna wanted a matching suit that would show her style. After many days of trying to convince her that she could or should wear a dress, as I was going to wear a dress, I finally gave up. One last day that I thought I would try to convince her that she should wear a dress, I had a real conversation with my daughter. I asked her why she needed to wear a suit and look like a boy, being slightly abrasive. My daughter said something I never expected to hear. My daughter said quietly, "I just want to be like you', "I want to be extra fancy and wear a matching suit the way you do." My heart broke when I realized my daughter wasn't trying to dress like a boy at that point. She was trying to dress like me. 

My daughter has mimicked me in many different areas of my life, yet I failed to see her trying one more way to be like her mom. It was a great compliment, yet I failed her easily with the wrong perspective. 

Why does this matter? As parents, we can become overwhelmed by the weight of the world that we forget the little around us. I don't mean we forget about them physically, but we forget they are watching us even when we don't see them paying attention. While our kids play or pretend to ignore us, they see us give of our time, show kindness or rudeness, they see us when we lead, they see us rise, they see us when we give up, they see us happy, sad, or angry; our kids see us when we fail, and they see us react to every single one of those emotions. I have seen all my girls act precisely like me, and at times I am incredibly proud, whereas I have been ashamed of myself at other times. 

It is easy to blame our kids for their behavior, but if we took a minute to look at our lives, we could easily see where much of their character comes from.